"Tara, I know what to do. I'm just not doing it."
Ahh, yes. This is pretty common. Sometimes we truly know what to do but can't seem to stay consistent enough in order to make progress on our goals.
Is this you?
Here are some tips if you often find yourself "on track" only to be "off track" a few days later:
1)Why do you want to do any of this, anyway?
It helps a lot to stay mindful of your deeper why and reconnect to it as often as necessary. And pssst ... it's never about the weight loss or how you want to look in a bathing suit and if you think it is, you'll be much more likely to have trouble with consistency. Change is a big deal and takes up a bit of space in our brain. If your goals are registering as being an aesthetic-only kinda thing, your brain won't think that's important enough to go through all of the effort.
So go deeper. Do you want feel like you look better in a bathing suit ... because it will make you feel more confident in your skin ... and you think you'll show up in a better mood to your relationship with your partner with that confidence?
Do you want to lose the 20 lbs ... because you want to model for your kids the importance of goal setting and sticking to your word to yourself?
Keep asking yourself why. "I want to lose 20 l bs." Why? "Because ......" Why? "Because ..." Get at least 4 - 5 whys deep and you might be pretty astonished by what comes out of your mouth. THAT is what you need to stay connected to. Write it down on post-its, journal about it, envision it every morning as if you're already there. Don't lose sight of it.
2) Are you making the process enjoyable?
Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain wherever possible. What this means is that if you are making your health journey feel extra painful and / or it's lacking pleasure, you will likely have a ton of trouble with consistency.
Do you view exercise as punishment or a way to earn food? Do you tell yourself you need to hit a certain amount of calories burned on the treadmill before you can stop? Do you have strict timelines around when you expect to micromanage changes to occur in your body (like, "I need to be down 10 lbs by that trip or her wedding!")?
Do you ever tell yourself you were "good" or "bad" today? Are certain foods "good" or "healthy" and other foods are "bad"? Are you restricting yourself to a certain amount of calories per day or tracking every morsel of food by weighing or logging into a macro tracker? Are you weighing yourself and then getting disappointed anytime the scale doesn't move or goes up as if that means you're not making progress? Do you lose patience quickly?
These all register as being painful to our brains and they will significantly reduce the chances of you staying consistent.
Are you telling yourself you can't enjoy certain foods even if you eat them -- as if enjoying a cupcake is worse than just eating the cupcake and loving every bite of it? Are you telling yourself, "I really have to workout now" rather than feeling privileged to be able to move your body and build strength + a robust metabolism? Are you obsessively tracking your step count when you're out for a walk rather than enjoy the fresh air, views, and sounds of nature or your favorite playlist / podcast?
These all add up to a lack of pleasure and will also significantly reduce the chances of you staying consistent.
Instead, start to shift that. Reduce the "pain" of change by eliminating the restrictive, obsessive, weight-focused thoughts and patterns. And increase the pleasure by coupling things like exercise, walking, and meal prep with fun things like music you love and gratitude that you get to focus on building a healthier you at any moment.
The hard truth: the more negative, controlling, or impatient you are, the less likely you are to reach your goals. Maybe your pants aren't looser yet but your energy is up or you're having less cravings? If you're the one who says, "Ugh, my pants aren't looser yet.", don't expect to reach your goals yet. But when you have the skills to say "Yay! I have more energy and less cravings already!", you're more primed for success from a neurological standpoint. This is something we can all acquire. You don't have to be born with a certain personality type to celebrate all the wins and see mostly the good in your progress.
important to note: There are many people who think they know all the right things to do and are jut not doing them when what's actually happening is that they're trying to do things that do not help at all! So they are trying to cut back their calories and aren't sure why they end up binge-eating the Pringles at 9 PM or order too many drinks on Saturday night. They think they know the right things to do ... just don't eat the Pringles or order too many drinks next time. Whereas they actually had the wrong approach alllll week and it's their faulty biology that lead them to make those choices, not their lack of willpower. So be sure you actually know you have the right approach before thinking you're having trouble staying consistent. If it's the wrong approach, you will definitely struggle here. Everything we do in TRANSFORM: Body + Mind is focused on doing the actual right things. The things that help us thrive. The things that make achieving fat loss goals feel GREAT rather than crappy. Good rule of thumb: if it makes you feel crappy, it's the wrong approach. The March group just got kicked off yesterday and is off to a great start! I'll be running the course next in May.
Announcement: I am currently revamping my 1:1 coaching program. While I'm not taking any new clients currently, I will be opening up some spots when I'm done updating the program. If you are interested in being considered for this, please hop on the interested list. I'll be sure to reach out by early May at the latest to either tell you it's ready or that it's closer to being ready and share some more details with you at that time.
TLDR: If you are having trouble staying consistent with your health habits, start by connecting to a deeper (hint: it won't be aesthetic) why. Then, make sure you dial the "pain" associated with change way down and the "pleasure" way up. Finally, make sure you actually know all the right things to do. This won't be any kinds of diets or bootcamps or obsessive tracking.
XO,
Tara